Boarding the Plane

Memo #42 to Airlines: Boarding and De-Planing

The “pre-boarders” now seem to outnumber the regular boarders on our airlines.  I’m cool with the “families with young children” thing, but today the “young children” are not so young anymore when I watch them board first.  I swear one kid had a five o’clock shadow when boarding with his parents. 

I also swear I saw a guy pre-boarding with a cane windsurfing the day before in front of my house.  For real.

I get the elderly, I get the slow moving people, I get the wheelchairs. I get the kids.  And bravo if you can fake out the gate agents with some mystery ailment. 

But here’s the thing:  when you pre-board because of one of the aforementioned impediments, when we land - STAY ON THE FUCKING PLANE AND SIT DOWN SO WE CAN DE-PLANE FIRST. 

You can’t have it both ways: if you are so “boarding challenged” getting on the plane, then stay the fuck down when we land, because the same rules apply for you getting off.

Dicks.