It was great to be back in Kelowna, B.C. for Christmas Holidays. Also thought it would be nice to do a little Christmas shopping while there; you know, pump a little money into the local economy. Thought the local business would be prepared to grab my hard earned loot.
Most annoying shopping experience of all time.
Stores in Kelowna are exactly like window shopping; there is one of everything on display, but nothing is ever in stock to actually buy.
I decide to buy “Windows 2” tablets for all the kids for Xmas so I first visit “The Future Shop”; a sort of Canadian “Best Buy” wannabe.
After form-tackling a “service” representative named Garth (you know electronic- store-sales-guy: bad breath, perv moustache starter kit, bad B.O. and messy, unwashed hair)
ME: Hey Garth – you lucked out today – I need 4 Surface 2 tablets…..
Garth: Hmmmm…..not sure if we have any.
ME: You don’t have any? At Christmas? The most important shopping time of the year?? Are you sure?
Garth (enthusiastically): Well, if it’s in stock, we got it!
ME: Wow, thanks for the incredible insight, Garth. And let me guess, if it’s NOT in stock you don’t have it.
Garth looks a little puzzled my remark, but he ambles off to check. After 10 minutes he returns:
Garth: Bad News. We’re all out of Surface 2 tablets.
ME: This is hard to believe. One week before Christmas and you don’t
have any product to sell??
have any product to sell??
Garth: Yeah, I guess we shoulda ordered more here….
ME: Ok. Lets shift gears. Fuck the tablets, Have you got any “GoPro” cameras.
Garth screws up his face like he is about to be tortured, which of course, he is.
Garth: No, we sold outta those a few days ago.
ME: No wonder you guys are always in receivership, (which is true) you never have anything to sell.
Garth: You want me to get the manager?
ME: Whats he gonna do? Give me some bullshit story about how this store never gets what they want from the main warehouse, etc etc etc. No, I'm outta here.
Garth: Merry Christmas!!
ME: No, it isn't thanks to you and your shitty store
So, off I go to the only other big box electronics store in Kelowna called “Best Buy Canada”
Now, in between stores I get a text from my friend in Belize who asks me to buy him a MacBook Pro., which he cannot get there. More shit to buy now.
This is in addition to the 4 surface tablets I want to buy.
So I venture over to Best Buy Canada, and the same routine of having to get a sales person happens again. But alas, I get a real geek; one that seems to revel in the fact he works at an electronics store.
ME: Hi Wendell, have lots to buy here today, so let’s get to it. I need 4 surface 2 tablets, and Macbook Pro 512GB – with the 17” screen.
Not bad – about a $4500 order.
Lemme check on the tablets. Think we might be all out.
ME: The week before Christmass?? All out? Surely you jest Wendell.
Wendell: Gimme a second. And let me check stock for that Macbook Pro.
Wendell leaves and comes back. He is walking with his head down so I know it’s bad news.
Wendell: Bad news on both fronts, sir. Nothing in stock on any of those items.
ME: (incredulous) How, possibly can a store this size not have any of these items. And even more so the week before Christmas. Worse, why do you even have them on display? You can’t buy them so I insist you take them away. It’s misleading the buying public. We foolishly think you guys actually have a business here….
Wendell: You want me to get the manager?
Several minutes later the manager shows up, and even though Wendell has given him the heads up, I further explain it is misleading to put items out for sale when in fact you don’t have them.
Manager: Well, we can order the items for people.
ME: For when, Easter delivery?
Manager: I understand you’re upset.
ME: No, I’m not upset. I am disgusted that a major electronics store has next to nothing in stock, yet continues to advertise it is in business.
Manager: Well, we are in business.
ME: Really? What is your business?
Manager: Selling electronics.
ME: And how are you doing so far with me today in performing your business plan?
Manager: Not very well.
ME: Uh-huh. Gimme the name and email of the guy who is the district manager, or is in charge of ordering for this store. He needs an email slapping.
The manager writes this down and I leave the store, with one last place to try and spend my hard earned money: a drugstore chain, believe it or not, called London Drugs.
They actually have a decent selection of electronics, and are great at service, but they are small.
I get there, and there is nothing. I mean, absolutely nothing in stock. I go easy on the guy because their chief business is selling pharmacy shit and small appliances.
So, my apologies to all my relatives who were supposed to get the Surface 2 tablet or GoPro camera: you will have to make do with gift cards this year.
But make a point of going down to these retailers and explaining how you got jobbed out of a tablet because they can’t count right.