"No Worries"

"No Worries"

Fuck, this saying annoys me to no end.  Why do people insist on using it all the time?  I mean, what the fuck does it even mean?

I go shopping today and buy some groceries, and finish the checkout by paying with a U.S. debit card.  Because I am in Canada it doesn’t work, so I use a Canadian one. Then the checkout girl starts in:

Me:  Geez, I have to remember to use my Canadian card from now on.

Her:  No worries.

Me:  Well, I wasn’t worried - just have to remember this in the future.

Her: (again):  No worries.

Me:  Wait a minute.  Is that you that has “no worries” or me that is to have no worries. Are you actually erasing all my worries?

Dazed, confused, look by her.

Her: Um, I’m just saying “no worries” to you.

Me:  So, I have absolutely NO worries?  You are telling me I am now totally, 100% worry free?  That’s great.  How do you do that?

Her:  Um, I think there is a misunderstanding here.

Me: Yeah, there is.  First, when you say this, it is confusing as to who, exactly, has nothing to worry about.  Second, if by some magical, divine interlude either of us were given the ability to wipe way a person’s worries, it’s highly doubtful we would both be standing here doing what we are doing.

Thoughtful Daze Now.

Her:  I see your point.

Success!   I am slowly succeeding in educating the masses about this idiotic saying. 

I leave the store feeling slightly elated that there is one less moron who will utter these stupid words.